As we learn and grow in BDSM, our lives take on different meanings, and we acquire different needs. Sometimes, those needs are fulfilled simply by a look from our Dominant, sometimes, by a touch, or a kiss. Other times, however, those needs require strict and strident attention from the ones that we serve.
 
 

Submissives have various ways of gaining our Dominant’s attention, when we feel a need overtake us. This short essay contains the ways that I am aware of, although, I’m sure that there are many that I’ve not yet encountered, or tried.
 
 

The Day after an Intense Scene
 
 

Many times, as a submissive fully retracts herself from subspace, she’ll have a craving to be tossed immediately back into it. While this is not always practical, and is sometimes just plain inconvenient, a good submissive will always attempt to let her Dominant know and understand exactly what her headspace is.

The most obvious way to do this, is to simply sit down and explain to the Dominant what it is that I need, respectfully, of course, and to take his reaction for whatever it may be. However, personally, while this approach works fine, it seems a little dull sometimes. My mind is extremely creative, and inasmuch as I enjoy using it to it’s fullest capacity, sometimes it’s more fun to ‘play’. In other words, to provoke the Dominant into sending me back into the subspace I’ve so recently left.

Brattiness and mouthiness come into play here. Most times, I’ll be quite subtle about my disobedience at first. Testing the waters, so to speak. At other times, I’ll be completely brazen and border on the disrespectful. It depends on my mood, the Dominant’s mood, and my needs. Once a Dominant is acquainted with me, and understands these needs, and the reasons for my behavior, this can be an extraordinary way to communicate. However, sometimes the Dominant misunderstands my behavior. This can be devastating to both parties involved.
 
 

After an Extended Period of Time with No Play
 
 

Many submissives crave their Dominant’s attentions on a daily, or sometimes even hourly basis. A day without play can drive them insane. While this is not the case with me, I have felt this way at various times. My moods, my reality, my work schedule all contribute to my need to play, and the kind of play that I’m in need of.

I have seen many submissives be completely rude and disrespectful to the Dominants, simply to acquire his complete and undivided attention. Feeling the way I do about my submission, this is not something that I use as part of my own ‘game-playing’. I rather prefer to ‘play’ at being disrespectful - throwing little punches at things like his truck, his computer, his printer, and gauging his reactions from those things. It’s that kind of playfulness that can lead to the kind of scenes I like best - spontaneous, hard, fast crazy scenes, in which both parties get completely caught up in the action.
 
 

Life Invades all too Often
 
 

Most submissives are very understanding about their Dominant’s problems and concerns in the outside world. Most of us will sit back, and let the Dominant take control of when there is play, and when he is simply too tired, too drained, or too preoccupied to give us Dominant attention. We are always happy to play when he is willing and able, and we treasure those times when we haven’t played for a length of time.

Occasionally, a submissive will sense that, even though the Dominant is exhausted, he needs the release of a scene to allow the tension that’s been building inside of him to discharge. The Dominant may resist this at first, claiming fatigue has left him empty, but a good submissive can judge the amount of weariness a Dominant truly has, and if she judges correctly, she will either draw him into play, or take him at his word, and allow him to rest and recuperate.
 
 

Playing the Good Girl can be Exhausting
 
 

Many of us will continue in our ‘good girl’ roles, being the ultimate submissive, and letting the Dominant control the play for as long as we can handle. However, we are human. And occasionally, we do begin to feel neglected in some cases. And while we, above all, respect your time, your limits, your needs, we also must respect our own, and try to get them met without showing the Dominant any true disrespect. It’s at those times, when even the best of submissives will take up the brat role, as an attempt to show the Dominant how they feel, without actually having to say it. It’s hard for us, as submissives, to complain, to whine. We are trained to be supportive, to share your feelings, and our own. It somehow doesn’t seem right to come out and say "HEY YOU. Stop talking about your ex wife for a minute and ask me if I need an ass whipping, will ya?" As submissives, we revel in the joy that we feel when you share your problems with us. We celebrate the fact we can help you work through the rough spots of your life. We enjoy the time we spend with you, no matter what we may be doing in that time. However, sometimes we are allowed to be selfish. And it’s at those times, that the most respectful of submissives will show a streak of brattiness you never knew existed, rather than hurt your feelings by complaining directly to the problem.
 
 
 
 

Learning to read our brattiness is an art form. We don’t expect you to do it over night, and we certainly don’t expect you to put up with it. Just try and understand us, and love us for our continued communication with you, no matter what form that communication comes in.