(Or, What's With the Brat Routine?)
Copyright Screamer, 1996
All rights reserved
Don't even think about using this without asking my permission first.
As we learn and grow in BDSM, our lives take on
different meanings, and we acquire different needs. Sometimes, those needs
are fulfilled simply by a look from our Dominant, sometimes, by a touch,
or a kiss. Other times, however, those needs require strict and strident
attention from the ones that we serve.
Submissives have various ways of gaining our Dominantís
attention, when we feel a need overtake us. This short essay contains the
ways that I am aware of, although, Iím sure that there are many that Iíve
not yet encountered, or tried.
The Day after an Intense Scene
Many times, as a submissive fully retracts herself from subspace, sheíll have a craving to be tossed immediately back into it. While this is not always practical, and is sometimes just plain inconvenient, a good submissive will always attempt to let her Dominant know and understand exactly what her headspace is.
The most obvious way to do this, is to simply sit down and explain to the Dominant what it is that I need, respectfully, of course, and to take his reaction for whatever it may be. However, personally, while this approach works fine, it seems a little dull sometimes. My mind is extremely creative, and inasmuch as I enjoy using it to itís fullest capacity, sometimes itís more fun to Ďplayí. In other words, to provoke the Dominant into sending me back into the subspace Iíve so recently left.
Brattiness and mouthiness come into play here.
Most times, Iíll be quite subtle about my disobedience at first. Testing
the waters, so to speak. At other times, Iíll be completely brazen and
border on the disrespectful. It depends on my mood, the Dominantís mood,
and my needs. Once a Dominant is acquainted with me, and understands these
needs, and the reasons for my behavior, this can be an extraordinary way
to communicate. However, sometimes the Dominant misunderstands my behavior.
This can be devastating to both parties involved.
After an Extended Period of
Time with No Play
Many submissives crave their Dominantís attentions on a daily, or sometimes even hourly basis. A day without play can drive them insane. While this is not the case with me, I have felt this way at various times. My moods, my reality, my work schedule all contribute to my need to play, and the kind of play that Iím in need of.
I have seen many submissives be completely rude
and disrespectful to the Dominants, simply to acquire his complete and
undivided attention. Feeling the way I do about my submission, this is
not something that I use as part of my own Ďgame-playingí. I rather prefer
to Ďplayí at being disrespectful - throwing little punches at things like
his truck, his computer, his printer, and gauging his reactions from those
things. Itís that kind of playfulness that can lead to the kind of scenes
I like best - spontaneous, hard, fast crazy scenes, in which both parties
get completely caught up in the action.
Life Invades all too Often
Most submissives are very understanding about their Dominantís problems and concerns in the outside world. Most of us will sit back, and let the Dominant take control of when there is play, and when he is simply too tired, too drained, or too preoccupied to give us Dominant attention. We are always happy to play when he is willing and able, and we treasure those times when we havenít played for a length of time.
Occasionally, a submissive will sense that, even
though the Dominant is exhausted, he needs the release of a scene to allow
the tension thatís been building inside of him to discharge. The Dominant
may resist this at first, claiming fatigue has left him empty, but a good
submissive can judge the amount of weariness a Dominant truly has, and
if she judges correctly, she will either draw him into play, or take him
at his word, and allow him to rest and recuperate.
Playing the Good Girl can
Many of us will continue in our Ďgood girlí roles,
being the ultimate submissive, and letting the Dominant control the play
for as long as we can handle. However, we are human. And occasionally,
we do begin to feel neglected in some cases. And while we, above all, respect
your time, your limits, your needs, we also must respect our own, and try
to get them met without showing the Dominant any true disrespect. Itís
at those times, when even the best of submissives will take up the brat
role, as an attempt to show the Dominant how they feel, without actually
having to say it. Itís hard for us, as submissives, to complain, to whine.
We are trained to be supportive, to share your feelings, and our own. It
somehow doesnít seem right to come out and say "HEY YOU. Stop talking about
your ex wife for a minute and ask me if I need an ass whipping, will ya?"
As submissives, we revel in the joy that we feel when you share your problems
with us. We celebrate the fact we can help you work through the rough spots
of your life. We enjoy the time we spend with you, no matter what we may
be doing in that time. However, sometimes we are allowed to be selfish.
And itís at those times, that the most respectful of submissives will show
a streak of brattiness you never knew existed, rather than hurt your feelings
by complaining directly to the problem.
Learning to read our brattiness is an art form. We donít expect you to do it over night, and we certainly donít expect you to put up with it. Just try and understand us, and love us for our continued communication with you, no matter what form that communication comes in.
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